Memories Can Be So Painful....

Category: By Unee.Adisti
Iyak !. Siang2, jam 12.43 wib, saya tiba2 mendadak dangdut mellow. Hmpft..
Semua karena ngebaca blog'nya si FA.

Karena kalimat,
"
And you know that you really like someone when you take attention to every little habits he has, and you can remember it, and you laugh every time you think of it, and you can’t stop laughing because you think of him every time! ".

Dan.. sialnya,if you can't forget those little habits when you're suppose to !.
It sticks and won't come off ,no matter how hard you brush it off !.

Selama 5 tahun,dan tanpa sadar udah mulai tau segala macem hal2 kecil tentang seseorang.Rutinitas sampe dengan orang2 yang dekat dengan dia.Even when you never really met the person in the flesh.

And when you found yourself smiling,just by remembering all the funny things,the silly jokes ( daily edition ), and words he/she said just to erase the frown,all the small things he/she has been doing for you without you even realizing it,then it hits you.
BANG !!.
You like that person.
Probably too much than you needed to.

And when the same feeling comes from the other person and being put on the table,things change.
FCUK !!.

Lalu mulailah bertanya ke diri sendiri,
" Apa seharusnya hal "itu" nggak usah dibahas ?. Apa kemarin aku harus bohong dan bilang kalo I don't have the same feelings ?. Apa aku harus setuju dengan dia dan bilang, the distance between us will NOT make this work.So might as well just forget it ?".
The annoying, "shoulda,woulda,coulda " !!.

I am hating a lot of things at the moment.
I am hating the fact that it took me 5 years to realize all this.
Too long to take it all just as some 'cyber flirt'.
I am hating the fact that the one thing I have come to admit,with him admitting it first,is the one thing that made me lose everything I have had with him.
I am hating the fact that he just left me without even an explanation.
I am hating the fact that I still could stare at my messenger's list,at his name,waiting for him to come online.
I am hating the fact that we're a trillion miles away,which makes all this harder.
I am hating the fact that I find myself missing him still.
Suddenly.
Out of nowhere.
Like ... now !.

How can something so right be so wrong ?.

"
I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough
"

[ evan and jaron - the distance ]

I'm out !!.










 

5 comments so far.

  1. aDyA June 6, 2008 at 8:10 AM
    *speechless*

    bingung mau nulis apa...

    sabar yah mbak...
  2. Prima Massabumi June 6, 2008 at 2:23 PM
    wow. blog lo superb yah
  3. Unee.Adisti June 6, 2008 at 8:11 PM
    @adya : hiks..iya nih,adya.. rencananya saya juga mau tumpengan,ganti nama. Jadi Sabar Adisti ajah. Hahaha..

    @Prima : Waaa...Primmaaa.Kau datanggg.. Ayo ayo..silahkan masuk.Sepatu dipake aja,takut di'mbat orang.Maklum,daerah sini rawan.
    Superb ??. Ah,enggak...lebih suka supermi. *hegH?!*
  4. TJ June 8, 2008 at 1:56 AM
    yaaah.., ini sih.. eeemm.. gw banget.. huhuhuhuhu...
    inilah yg gw benci dari diri gw sendiri. sumpaaah.. gw udah berusaha untuk ga begini. pernah sih berhasil, tapi begonya cuma sekali. selebihnya, begini lagi!
    yah, malah curhat gw ya??
  5. Ratie June 8, 2008 at 7:55 AM
    Relax,dear.. Losing someone is hard, but losing yourself is much harder! Ayo unee!! Come up and go on with your life! *nendang pantat unee kenceng2* Haha..

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